There’s something I don’t think we talk about enough.
You can be deeply connected to God…and still feel incredibly alone in church.
I’m in a season right now where my relationship with God feels strong—steady, intimate, real.
And yet… every Sunday, I walk into church and feel like I don’t quite fit anywhere.
Let me explain.
I represent a version of womanhood that doesn’t seem to have a place.
I’m a Christian. Unwaveringly so.
I was married. Now I’m divorced.
I have two kids that I’m raising on my own.
I’m a single Christian mom.
And somehow… that doesn’t seem to fit into any category the church has created.
There’s no group of us lingering after service.
No Bible study built for this season.
No community that reflects what my life actually looks like.
I don’t see myself when I walk in.
I’m not “single” in the way the church defines it—because I carry the weight of motherhood. But I’m not married either.
So where do I go?
The singles ministry cuts off at 30. The married groups aren’t my life anymore.
So I sit alone. No one next to me. No hand to hold.
Just me.
And then I pick up my kids…and it’s just the three of us again.
And the hardest part?
We are seen every Sunday… but we are not known.
And I think this is where the church has missed something.
Not out of malice.
But out of oversight.
Because single moms?
We don’t need short bursts of help rooted in pity. We need consistent, anchored, truth-filled community.
And that’s largely absent.
Sometimes it feels like we’ve been pushed to the edges. Like we’re the exception—not the standard.
Like we carry something we’re supposed to quietly feel ashamed of.
But when I look at Jesus… I don’t see that.
“The Son of Man came eating and drinking… a friend of tax collectors and sinners.” — Matthew 11:19
“Religion that God our Father accepts… is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress…” — James 1:27
He moved toward the overlooked.
Not away from them.
And sometimes… that’s exactly where I feel like I am.
Not outside of God’s love— but outside of structured community.
And if I’m honest?
That hurts.
Because my love for God has never been stronger.
My faith has never been more real.
And yet… it can feel like it’s still not enough to fully belong.
Like my place at the table is… uncertain.
And that is wrong.
Because Jesus didn’t die for a polished version of you.
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” — Romans 8:1
He died for you as you are.
So if the community doesn’t fully exist…
Then we build it. We become it.
We show up for each other in the ways we wish someone would show up for us.
A place where:
Messy is welcome.
Kids are welcome.
Joy is loud.
Grief is held.
Nothing has to be explained.
Because you’ve already been justified.
“And since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith…” — Romans 5:1
So here’s where this is going…What does that actually look like?
What does real, life-giving, God-centered community look like for women like us?
How do we build it? How do we find it? How do we become it?
Because I don’t think this ends with awareness.
I think this is the beginning of something.
And I want you in it.
-Ashley
